How To Be Exciting And Cool
advice, article, funny Jacob Shelton advice, article, funny Jacob Shelton

How To Be Exciting And Cool

If you’re reading this it’s because a small part of you believes that not only are you uncool, but you’re extremely uninteresting. Or maybe just boring. Here are Kill Pretty we do everything we can to make the world a more outrageous/strange/fun/stupid place, which makes us both exciting and cool. We don’t make the rules, that’s just the way it goes. Heck, we’re not even typing this right now, that’s how much we don’t need to read this article. The article is being “written” by speaking into a robot constructed specifically to deal with anything uncool. Let’s just cut to the chase. There’s nothing cooler than brevity.

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Nick Rutherford Talks About His Strange Trip In Dream Corp LLC
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Nick Rutherford Talks About His Strange Trip In Dream Corp LLC

There’s so much Dream Corp LCC content in issue six that even if you don’t know the show (which you really should) you’ll know everything about how the sausage is made by the time you’ve strained your eyes reading to the last page. Our good fellow Tyler Nacho sat down with star Nick Rutherford for an extended chat about the series, how he approaches his character, and just regular dude stuff, you know? Check out the beginning of the interview below and find the entire thing in our most recent issue.

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How To Live Like Your Life Is A Video Game
advice, article, funny, inspiration Jacob Shelton advice, article, funny, inspiration Jacob Shelton

How To Live Like Your Life Is A Video Game

Modern life is the pits. People go to work. They go to school. They drive home. They eat. They shit. They go to sleep. Where are the boss battles? The robot friends who want to find a soul? The giant dragons flying through the sky as a mind throbbing score swells over the scene? These are just a few of the things that you’re missing out on by refusing to live like you’re in a video game. It’s time to reframe your life into something far more interesting than your regular day to day.

The most important step to living like you’re the main character of a video game is to decide what kind of game you’re inside. Is this an MMORPG with an open world where multiple players can come and go as they please? Or are you the only free thinker in a world of NPCs?

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I've Had It Up To Here With All These Star Wars
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I've Had It Up To Here With All These Star Wars

Are we still doing this? By “this,” I mean Star Wars. It’s been almost 50 years since Luke Skywalker blew up the Death Orb with the help of a friendly old man ghost before smooching his sister, and somehow audiences are still foaming at the mouth for another war in the stars. Can’t we just give (star) peace a chance?

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NFTs That Would Be Pretty Cool
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NFTs That Would Be Pretty Cool

The world is a titter with NFT (that’s Non-fungible Token if you’re nasty) madness. The art world, the blogosphere, the BK Kids Club, everyone wants to get their hands on a little piece of digital art that they can call their own and then offload for anywhere between 40 and 60,000 bucks. As of this writing there are jpegs, pngs, and .wows of mutant apes, vast 3D landscapes, and piles and piles of incredibly well animated dicks, but if you’re like me (someone between the ages of 47 and 65 with a vast amount of disposable income) then you want an NFT that’s a bit more persona than everything you can find online at the moment.

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Brian Yuzna Talks Horror, Gore, And The 1980s In Issue 6

Brian Yuzna Talks Horror, Gore, And The 1980s In Issue 6

Issue Six of KILL PRETTY is finally here and it feels so good. This freaked out, fucked up, and all around fabulous issue is teeming with weird articles, sexy babes, and at least two stores about alien abductions. Oh, and we interviewed splatter-horror icon Brian Yuzna. Check out the preview and buy the magazine for the full story.

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How To Survive The Second Weekend Of Coachella
advice, article, funny Jacob Shelton advice, article, funny Jacob Shelton

How To Survive The Second Weekend Of Coachella

The first weekend of the 2022 Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in Indio, California, has come and gone. It's dust in the wind, yesterday's news, a metaphor that people have stopped using. But there's still another weekend full of drugged out teens, expensive water, and influencers squeezing every drop of fame out of their final instagrammable moments. If you're throwing caution (and a shitload of money) to the wind to attend the second weekend of Coachella we've got some tips for you.

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Issue Six Of Kill Pretty Is Here!
Buy It, article, graffiti, kill pretty news Jacob Shelton Buy It, article, graffiti, kill pretty news Jacob Shelton

Issue Six Of Kill Pretty Is Here!

Issue 666 of Kill Pretty is here and it’s going to blow your mind. Featuring interviews and artwork by BAER, ‘80s splatter horror pioneer Brian Yuzna, and Rob Schrab, you won’t want to miss one panel of this freaked out and fabulous issue. Go on a drugged out death drive with Guy Fieri. Fall in love with the grime and slime of Richard Perkins, and go inside Dream Corp LLC - all in this jam packed issue.

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Swan Princess by Richard Perkins
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Swan Princess by Richard Perkins

We’ve had a policy at Kill Pretty ever since we started, No Meth Heads and No Poetry! It’s written above the arch entrance to the writers room and it reminds us of where we stand and our core beliefs as a company. I don’t really know how to read poetry and have had very few poems really make an impact. There seems to be a huge portion of DIY publications dedicated to poetry and it always seemed to me like a way to fill space. So when our favorite weirdo, Nashville, street photographer Richard Perkins told me he was going to release a book of poetry I made a audible *GULP*!

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Pants on Fire By Sean Conforti
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Pants on Fire By Sean Conforti

I was sitting on the shitter the other day with my boxers around my knees, cell phone snugly resting in the crotch playing my Jurassic Park Builder app.  It was all going fine, I was fairly sure I was going to get the right amount of poo particles on my phone screen to give myself a healthy dose of pink-eye (makes me look like a pirate, pirates are fucking cool.)  Normally, I’d get my pink-eye via anal sex and eating ass, but it’s been a slow few months.

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