Resident expert Jacob Shelton knows just about everything about anything, and that’s why he’s the perfect person to review and consider the wide range of topics that are available in this strange, chaotic world.

Being Tied To The Wheel - 5/10

Being tied to the wheel is not for everyone. It’s certainly not for me, but I don’t want to write a review of something and just give it a one out of ten because it was a harrowing experience. I can see how some people would really enjoy being strapped to the wheel and spun around like some kind of rudimentary Wheel of Fortune board game piece.

I don’t know which aspect of the wheel that I disliked more: the spinning, not being able to get off the wheel when I grew nauseous, or the amyl nitrate. None of the sensations were ideal, but again, I can see how at least a minor section of the population would be all in on this ungodly contraption.

If there were any positives to being tied to the wheel by Mistress Formica it would be the friendly back and forth with MF while they slapped my nipples while spinning me on the wheel. I don’t remember much of the conversation (amyl nitrate plus spinning on a large wheel isn’t great for memory) but I have a feeling that we got along swimmingly. If nothing else I would be happy to buy MF a coffee and catch up in the middle of the day, away from any heavy equipment.

Being Tied To The Wheel, consider yourself reviewed.

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