Are you confused? Flipping through the pages of this bizarre collection of chaotic images asking yourself, “What is this? Who makes this? WHY??”
So am I.
I ask myself these questions every time an issue comes out. Why? I don’t have an answer. Neither do my friends and coworkers who all seem concerned about my desperation for black market VHS and 80’s kids toys. It’s cute to have a collection, it’s sad to be a hoarder.
I decided to seek out an answer. And like the famous quote goes, “The answer to the riddle is me.” Like some of you reading this magazine, I get nauseous attempting small talk with my Uber driver. Family dinners give me the “therapy-spins.” I want to wear monster masks to go to the grocery store. I want to drink a vial of liquid LSD and eat barbecue, naked at the Grove. My daily concerns and preferences don’t exactly align with Marvel movies and Friends reruns. My fetishes are complicated.
I’m a freak. I first realized I was different holding a butcher knife to my chest in grade school. I wasn’t gonna do it, I knew I wouldn’t, but I wanted see what it felt like. To test myself. I was different. And as a kid it was maddening. It was depressing. It was life affirming. Ultimately I began to embrace my freak nature. I sought out freaky people and surrounded myself with them. I realized that I loved who I was even when I hated my life. I was the dom and the sub in my personal rape revenge fantasy porn.
This issue is filled with freaks of every kink. Iggy Soliven is our number one, with our favorite cover yet and spreads throughout the issue of all hand made costumes. Christy Karacas breaks down his process making Ballmastrz 9000 and Superjail in our three hour interview. Another Adult Swim favorite, Henry Zebrowski exposes his show Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell to be one giant satanic ritual, *Hail Satan*. Fancy Lads brings us into their world of skateboard-mounted inter-temporal shenanigan devices and DIY destruction. Crimebo the Clown teaches us about the crime Los Angeles was built on. JAMES breaks down the history of Santa Cruz graffiti. Our favorite gallery in the world, Superchief, tells us stories about knife fights in New York. There’s so much in this issue it really should be three issues. Is it hoarding if everything's painstakingly curated?
Kill Pretty is for the freak inside every person, no matter how milquetoast you think you are. Deep down inside everyone has a little freak in them. Some have a lot. If you have no inner freak, put down this magazine. Move along. It’s not for you. This is now a FREAKS ONLY publication. Made by freaks, for freaks to get freaky. There’s no judgement in these pages. You are free to be who you want. Because what else is there left to do? The world is a simulation, the government has confirmed UFO’s are here* and we are about to simultaneously watch America dismantle itself and the take over of artificial intelligence in our lifetime. Welcome to the golden age of the mind fuck. You can complain on Twitter or you can film yourself smearing mustard all over your body and sell the DVD at underground zine conventions**. As they say, “let your freak flag fly.” As long as you’re not a dick about it.
Everything is fucked. Let’s get fucked.
* Google “The Pentagon’s Mysterious U.F.O. Program - New York Times” for video footage
** Go to @have_sex_dubuque for a hard copy of the Mustard-In-Law DVD