What Your iPhone Alarm Clock Ringtone Says About You by Greg Mania
/Opening: This is the default iPhone ringtone, quiet and subtle: like you! You enjoy
fostering a sense of community and love shoving your flagrant display of civic virtue in
everyone’s face!
Apex: You’re very career-oriented and liquidate assets before lunch.
Chimes: You can ONLY achieve an orgasm if the song you’re having sex to is
comprised of at least 80% woodwind instruments.
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