No, I do not want your soft taco - By Jacob Shelton
I appreciate what you’re trying to do Steven, I really do, but why don’t you hold on to that soft taco? It’s not that I’m not hungry, because it is lunch time and, admittedly, I get very hungry around this time of day. It’s just that I don’t want the soft taco that’s been sitting in the passenger seat of your Volvo for God knows how long. Yes, I’m aware that it hasn’t been baking under the rays of the sun, magnified by your non-tinted windows (I didn’t even know they made windows without tint anymore) for more than twenty minutes, but still.
THE GLUNKERWUNK, A Fairy Tale
Once upon a time there lived a noble prince. He really enjoyed saving princesses. He saved them all day long, in this land and that. Then one day a dark cloud appeared over the prince’s land. It clouded all that was good and he was no longer able to see what princesses to save. He grew sad and bored. He wished for his passion to return.
Then one day a mysterious beast appeared. The Glunkerwunk. He GLUNKED, then WUNKED, then GLUNKERWUNKED through the castle gates. The Glunkerwunk told the prince that if he could look inside and see himself for what he truly was then he could lift the curse from his kingdom. The prince laughed. He did not believe him for he was arrogant and saw himself without flaw. So the Glunkerwunk left and the kingdom was sad.
NEW YORK CRIMES - ISSUE 1
Kill Pretty went to New York for 20 days in 2016 and took over 1000 photos of graffiti. This is our non-bias report on the scene in Brooklyn and Manhattan. Somewhere around 400-500 photos included. 40 pages, all black and white. ALL GRAFFITI NO BULLSHIT.
A Day In the Life of Script
While Script ponders his life while sipping on a bud light we see him wander around the west coast leaving tags,throw ups , and pieces.
Tips for Getting Your Cute Olive Garden Server to Go Out with You by Greg Mania
- Keep saying your salad needs more tossing and continue winking at him until your eyes
bleed.
CELEBRITY CGI SCANDAL EXCLUSIVE!
As we all are becoming aware, technology can be used for good and evil. From Darpa to hoverboards, our evolving future always seems to surprise us. Less and less can we tell the truth from the lies, the real from the fake. Kill Pretty has stumbled upon a scandal so big it’s going to rock the sleaze journals of TMZ and Entertainment Tonight. As always we are on the cutting edge of news and today we are about to blow your mind.
