What Is This Rooster So Mad About?
article, funny Jacob Shelton article, funny Jacob Shelton

What Is This Rooster So Mad About?

Okay everyone relax. Seriously. Just be cool. You have to be chill because the rooster is here and he's super pissed!

FUCK! This was always going to happen but why is it happening today? Ugh. Why is the rooster so mad? Did you do something to the rooster? You did, didn't you?

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Fear And Loathing With Guy Fieri
article, Buy It, funny Jacob Shelton article, Buy It, funny Jacob Shelton

Fear And Loathing With Guy Fieri

In issue six of Kill Pretty, staff writer Jacob Shelton takes a death drive into the heart of madness with the spiky haired madman, chef Guy Fieri. Check out the following excerpts from our profile on the Diners, Drive-In, and Dives host below and read the full thing in issue six.

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I Need To Make My Life More Interesting
article, funny Jacob Shelton article, funny Jacob Shelton

I Need To Make My Life More Interesting

This morning I woke up with the strangest feeling – I don’t want to do anything. Oh sure I’ll make coffee and put on a robe so I don’t flash the neighbors peeking through my curtains, but when it comes to doing any actual work it’s just not happening. Case in point: In the middle of the last sentence I stopped to watch an episode of Survivor before staring out the window for 20 to 30 minutes.

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Are You A Salami Mommy Or A Beef Chief?
article, funny, trippy Jacob Shelton article, funny, trippy Jacob Shelton

Are You A Salami Mommy Or A Beef Chief?

In this world there are only two types of people: Salami Mommies and Beef Chiefs. Your race, gender, and sexuality have nothing to do with one’s inner mommy or chief, you simply know one way or the other. However, we can be wrong from time to time and that’s why you’ve got to think about this for yourselves, email us your answer and wait until we let you know whether you’re right or wrong. So what is it, are you a Salami Mommy or a Beef Chief?

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The Museum of Death from Issue 6
article, Interview Nacho article, Interview Nacho

The Museum of Death from Issue 6

There's a lot of weird and interesting stuff to see when you come to Los Angeles, from The Hollywood sign to that hotel downtown where that girl drowned. LA is filled with stories and landmarks, but nothing holds a candle to the Museum of Death. This unmissable spot is dedicated to the horrors of real life. From gory car crash photos and shrunken heads to Charles Manson's guitar, you'll be horrified and you'll love it. Kill Pretty interviewed the folks behind the museum for issue six, here’s a sneak peek.

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Five Times I Accidentally Watched An Al-Qaeda Beheading Video Instead Of Stranger Things
article, funny Jacob Shelton article, funny Jacob Shelton

Five Times I Accidentally Watched An Al-Qaeda Beheading Video Instead Of Stranger Things

Stranger Things this, Stranger Things that. With the premiere of season four of one of the buzziest nostalgia programs ever committed to digital celluloid (a hard drive with a storage space near one, maybe two terabytes) it’s time that I admit the truth. Every time I’ve tried to watch Stranger Things I’ve accidentally pulled up an Al-Qaeda training video. Am I the only one doing this?

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Some Of My Favorite Squibs
article, funny Jacob Shelton article, funny Jacob Shelton

Some Of My Favorite Squibs

Did you know that when someone is shot (with a gun no less) in a major motion picture that their skin isn’t actually being pierced by a bullet? And more often than not that the blood spraying, spurting, and splattering out of the actor’s internal organs is often not even real blood? I’ve known this Hollywood secret for years (I definitely did not just learn about this looking at Wikipedia on my phone instead of going to sleep), and now I’d like to share some of my favorite squib shots with you, my adoring public.

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