Which Hunk Should Be Elected to the SCOTUS? By Jacob Shelton

Unless you’ve had your head under a rock (or you’re just a big ol’ dummy), last week Justice Antonin Scalia died, which is a bummer for his friends and family but very fun for those of us who thought he was a Grade A creep. But I’m not here to eulogize and discuss the past; I’m here to look to the future, baby. Someone has to replace Justice Scalia on the bench of the Supreme Court, and I think it’s high time that we had a hunk flexing his pecs under those big black robes. Luckily, there are at least ten qualified hunks who can fill the vacancy left by ol’ Scalia and meatballs.