Jacob Shelton 6/10/22 Jacob Shelton 6/10/22

I Need To Make My Life More Interesting

This morning I woke up with the strangest feeling – I don’t want to do anything. Oh sure I’ll make coffee and put on a robe so I don’t flash the neighbors peeking through my curtains, but when it comes to doing any actual work it’s just not happening. Case in point: In the middle of the last sentence I stopped to watch an episode of Survivor before staring out the window for 20 to 30 minutes.

Jacob Shelton 1/14/15 Jacob Shelton 1/14/15

Nancy Grace VS 2 Chainz

It shouldn't surprise anyone that Nancy Grace is a vocal opponent of the legalization of marijuana, placing her at odds with pretty much every rapper. Last night she held an unexpected debate with 2 Chainz, someone who would never be on my short list to go on television and debate anything. I wouldn't even expect him to debate the merits of owning more than one chain.

Nacho

Cumshot Wound - STDalton (Official Music Video)

Our favorite punk band just dropped this sick new video. If you haven’t seen Cumshot Wound live it’s a MUST! They put on a freaky ass show! Watch the video and follow them NOW! Even Been-Jammin’ Franklin loves it!

Molly

Fuck You, Kill Pretty! Also, Love You

WOW - ever since Kill Pretty put out a call for a new president we’ve gotten some buck-wild responses, including our first official rejection letter.

How To Milk Yourself (Even As A Non-Lactator!)

Did you know you can milk yourself even without becoming pregnant? It’s true! And you can start today with Kill Pretty’s essential guide on how to self-milk. You might be wondering, why milk yourself? Besides the fact that it’s really fun, colostrum (the precursor to breast milk) is full of antibodies, proteins, vitamins and minerals that can heal most anything.

6.66 Things You Didn't Know Palantir Knows About You

Now that most of us are starting to realize we live in a surveillance state (we’ve actually been here for quite awhile, but welcome to those just figuring this out!), it’s time to start asking, what DOES Palantir know about us?

Don’t you worry! Kill Pretty has put together a short list for you of 6.66 things you didn’t know that they know, but they do. And now you know too - you’re welcome.

Which hand and household appliance you masturbate with.
The exact Pantone of your asshole.
GPS coordinates of the last known location of your dignity.
Your most shameful Uber Eats delivery. (you know the one)
Your lowest bowling score.
Your new god.
.66 - Bad Bunny is cool but have you checked out the Antichrist?

I Need To Make My Life More Interesting

Nancy Grace VS 2 Chainz

If the point of life is for the Creator to experience everything, could 'Jackass' be humanity's pinnacle expression?