Top 5 Conspiracies Ranked by how Hard my Wife Tries to Stop Me From Seeing the Kids

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Top 5 Conspiracies Ranked by how Hard my Wife Tries to Stop Me From Seeing the Kids

Youtube videos seemed to be so innocent when I first started watching. Cat videos and DIY tutorials. Anyone could upload a video! Soon I found myself getting wrapped up in the secret truths all the sheeple in the world don’t want to look at. Youtube documentaries freed me from a life with my head in the sand. It also freed me from having a wife and children. But I’m a good father and I won’t let these kids down, even if they might in fact be alien hybrids!

Here are the top five conspiracies that killed my marriage:

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We're All Just a Cat With Our Heads Stuck in a Bag

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It's the first Monday back at the office after the holidays and I feel like a cat with it's head stuck in a chip bag. My shirt is inside out, I have a splitting headache, and people keep filming me with their phones. We're going to get through this guys, we'll get our heads out of the bag.