Is Your Cat an Asshole? By Tyler Nacho
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Is Your Cat an Asshole? By Tyler Nacho

All animals are not created equal, but we want to pretend they are. I know I did. I loved my pets growing up. Even walking through the streets today It’s pretty hard for me not to stop to pet a puppy or obsess over some insanely cute dog. Funny cat videos, although cliche as hell, never really seem to get old. Animals are adorable wonderful fucking things and we all love them. Unfortunately they are not all nice. Some pets piss on your clothes, take dumps on your bed and vomit on your tupperware. All while looking you in the eyes, challenging you. Some pets are assholes.

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Fashcism! - Saddam Hussein By Eric Gruber
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Fashcism! - Saddam Hussein By Eric Gruber

Welcome back to Fashcism - a safe place for you to fawn over wardrobe choices made by the world’s most notorious monsters  (you meaning me, of course)

You’ve heard of the fashion police, this is the fashion gestapo. The Nile and the Mississippi to Joan’s Rivers.

Today we bring you, from somewhere between Tikrit and a bottomless pit of wretched smells, piercing screams, fire and brimstone -  the one, the only, Mr. Spider Hole himself, former president of Iraq, Dancing with the Stars season 3 finalist, Doctor, Lawyer, 5-star generalissimo, President Barack Saddam Hussein Abd al-Majid al-Tikriti  (Editor’s note: Not a doctor).

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Freemason Secrets Revealed By Jon Benito
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Freemason Secrets Revealed By Jon Benito

Have you ever heard of the Freemasons?  You know… those assholes that supposedly run everything.  They're supposed to be the founding fathers of this country, and even possibly the descendants of the Knights Templar, and many other descendants and spawns of other secret societies.  Some even think that the Freemasons were also the Illuminati, or that the Illuminati were started by the Freemasons, or that the Illuminati and the Freemasons work together to control the world.  And from what I hear on the street, the Freemasons and the Illuminati have had a subsection of their own break off to battle it out on the street over who’s boss.  There are all sorts of different stories about these two groups.  Are they aliens, the lizard people and the greys battling it out on earth, or are they just men with dark occult power who have sold their soul to the devil?  There’s all sorts of stories about these “people” rolling around the internet inspiring artists, occultists, Christians, the religious right, neo-Nazis, anarchists, and other curious individuals.

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Woman sexually assaulted during exorcisms
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Woman sexually assaulted during exorcisms

TORONTO - A pastor at a Scarborough church has been accused of sexually assaulting a woman while performing “exorcisms” on her.

Toronto Police alleged Wayne Marlon Jones, 53, of the United Spiritual Baptist Church, at 787 Midland Ave., near Eglinton Ave. E., offered spiritual guidance to a woman between May 2011 and May 2013 when he performed exorcisms.

The woman was allegedly convinced to turn over money and property, according to investigators. And while it was not clear Wednesday where the alleged assault took place, the initial complaint was processed at 14 Division — at 350 Dovercourt Rd. — and not 41 Division where the church is located.

The investigation has been ongoing since Jones was arrested in August. He’s charged with sexual assault and three counts of theft fraud over $5,000. Exorcisms themselves are not illegal, police said.

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