Hateful Reviews of Everything Around Me by Sean Conforti
I go to coffee shops regularly to keep my loathing of humanity at a low but consistent boil.
Yuppie urban-wanna-be regions, Pasadena for example, are excellent for this. I’m in a wood-beam and exposed aluminum piping hipster dream; there is a large neon sign, MOTEL NO VACANCY flickering on the wall above me, and I think that this is what it would feel like to be me playing Charles Bukowski playing himself in a romcom about Charles Bukowski playing me. “NO” flashes fluorescent red above my head
6 Ways to Gently Tell Your Parents You’ve Enrolled at the University of Phoenix
1. Offer them a marga-Rohypnol-rita first, then bring it up. It’s best to break news like
this when your parents are relaxed/unconscious.
Is Your Cat an Asshole? By Tyler Nacho
All animals are not created equal, but we want to pretend they are. I know I did. I loved my pets growing up. Even walking through the streets today It’s pretty hard for me not to stop to pet a puppy or obsess over some insanely cute dog. Funny cat videos, although cliche as hell, never really seem to get old. Animals are adorable wonderful fucking things and we all love them. Unfortunately they are not all nice. Some pets piss on your clothes, take dumps on your bed and vomit on your tupperware. All while looking you in the eyes, challenging you. Some pets are assholes.
Drunken Art Reviews by Mr. Rich
When we're bored we'll throw Mr. Rich a bunch of paintings and stuff from the Juxtapoz website and see what he thinks. He gets no information on the artist or any context, just images. Here's our staff drunk talking contemporary art.
