Word on The Street: SCARLETT JOHANSSON: TRASH EATER (PHOTOS!!!)
Shocking news from celebrity world reaches our desks every day, but this exclusive story about Scarlett was a shock even to us. The busboy from the Denny’s on Melrose broke the news. One night last week while taking the trash out he caught a glimpse of a strikingly beautiful homeless lady eating a weak old Lumberjack Slam out of the dumpster. Upon being noticed she slinked away into the darkness. It was none other than Ms. Johansson herself.
My Fuck-It List by Mr. Rich
10. Raise a cow from birth, love it, name it Daisy, feed it only the best grass and shit that cows eat, read it bed time stories, build it a nice warm barn for it to live in, put a tv with cable out there so it can watch cartoons or whatever cows like, and then a year later...BOOM! Shoot that thing in the head, have it butchered, and enjoy all the my delicious meats for the next year to come.