In a world where the corporate news conglomerates shovel bile down your throats for a dollar, we at Kill Pretty bring you the truth straight from the source: THE STREETS.



Shocking news from celebrity world reaches our desks every day, but this exclusive story about Scarlett was a shock even to us. The busboy from the Denny’s on Melrose broke the news. One night last week while taking the trash out he caught a glimpse of a strikingly beautiful homeless lady eating a weak old Lumberjack Slam out of the dumpster. Upon being noticed she slinked away into the darkness. It was none other than Ms. Johansson herself.


This is the confirmation the world has been waiting for. Every night she dresses up as a homeless woman and nibbles the morsels we all throw away. A friend of Scarlett’s confirms that she thinks the government is trying to poison her and the only safe food is the food that has already been tested by civilians.

Dr. Drew had this to say, “That girl loves garbage.”