Man Sentenced to Prison for Punching Hole in £10 Million Monet Painting

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monet-painting-punched-kill-pretty-graffiti-magazine.jpg

In what is hopefully the epilogue to an incident that happened two years ago, a man has been sentenced to five years in prison for punching a hole in a painting by famed French impressionist artist Claude Monet. Displayed in the National Gallery of Ireland, the £10 million piece titled Argenteuil Basin with a Single Sailboat was attacked by the 49-year-old man when he drove his fist through the left side of the painting. He initially explained his motive as “getting back at the state” but changed his story during the trial, saying that it happened when he felt faint and fell into the artwork. After reviewing CCTV footage, it was decided that it indeed was an intentional attack. The man will also be banned from visiting any galleries for 15 months after his jail sentence.

 

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A Quick Burst Of Rage

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Art by Meg Litter

Art by Meg Litter

I fucking hate ordering fast food.

I’m pretty sure I’ve never got an order correct. EVER!!!!!!!! I have lived here my entire life and that’s a long time for them to get my McChicken “plain” down. No mayo, no lettuce. Fuck you.

I just went to Burger King and got a 10 piece McNugget…..sorry, regular nugget and asked for sweet and sour sauce and they gave me two honey-mustards. GOD. FUCKING. DAMMIT!!!! You stupid motherfuckers. Do you know how much I hate honey-mustard? You must be doing this shit on fucking purpose because you execute it so perfectly. It’d be different if I got an extra milkshake or the coveted curly fry among the regs. But no. You leave out a taco or give me FUCKING HONEY-MUSTARD!!!!!

I know what you’re thinking. I like honey-mustard. Fuck you. I hate it. I hate ranch too. Regular honey, ketchup, barbeque, sweet and sour! That’s how I role. Fuck ranch. And why can’t I walk through the drive-thru?  You think you’re better than me cuz you have a car?! Every fucking time they leave something out. And I’m too fucking stoned or drunk and I sit on it and say, “Oh well, this is the norm.”.  And fuck, it is the norm. I want my fucking order to be correct for once.

This is horseshit.

 

Graffiti Writer Killed by Cops - DEMZ RIP

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A Miami graffiti artist who was struck by a police car after he was caught tagging a building has died, police said.

Delbert Gutierrez, 21, died at Jackson Memorial Hospital Tuesday night, police said."This was a tragic car accident which has left both families devastated," Miami Police said in a statement Wednesday. "The Miami Police Department offers our condolences and prayers."

Gutierrez, who goes by the name "Demz," was caught tagging a building at Northwest 5th Avenue and 24th Street on Dec. 5, police said. Police said that once he saw flashing lights, Rodriguez ran.

When an officer turned the corner in his unmarked car, Rodriguez jumped out from between two vehicles and was struck, police said. He was taken to Jackson in critical condition with a brain injury.

Police said the car was traveling less than 15 mph when it struck Gutierrez.

Gutierrez's mother blasted the police saying Chief Manuel Orosa called the incident an accident before the speed of the car had been deterined. She texted NBC 6's Angela Pellerano saying, "Orosa hasn't had a problem in talking to the media. However, he has not found the time to give us, the family, a call or come to us in person at Jackson."

Javier Ortiz, president of the Miami Fraternal Order of Police, issued a statement Wednesday saying they are waiting for the outcome of the investigation.

"No matter how this incident transpired, the focus must be that a life was lost and we must keep his family in prayer throughout this difficult time," Ortiz said.

Gutierrez is the second South Florida graffiti artist to die in the last two years. Israel "Reefa" Hernandez, was killed after a Miami Beach Police officer shocked him with a taser after he was caught tagging a building in August 2013.

The Best Friend You Ever Had - Weed Delivery In New York By Jon Benito

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The Best Friend You Ever Had - Weed Delivery In New York By Jon Benito

Five years ago I met this guy at this loft party in Brooklyn. It was July 1st and I had literally just gotten off the plane from Florida. I spent the month of June following every Pride week between Orlando and South Beach, and ended the parade with a week long music conference of the EDM variety. It was the kind of month where everyone talked about snow, but it never snowed. He had over heard me talking about my adventure in South Beach, which ended with this methed out dude in pink denim daisy dukes, a wife beater, and just socks, no shoes, following me down  A1A grabbing his junk.

We began talking, exchanging stories, until he decided to open his bag and pulled out a rather large ziploc bag full of jewel cases packed with herb. He handed me a business card and said, "I work for Jack, and don't ask me who Jack is 'cuz I know jack shit."  Apparently, he worked for one of those delightful delivery services. The kind where you call a number within the five boros of New York City, and an angry man picks up the phone. He demands your name and address and says thirty minutes. Then just like that, two or three hours later a guy is in your apartment pulling out various strains of cannabis to choose from at a premium price. Very illegal, which makes it very convenient. You don't have to leave your house! Regardless, over the past several years we got to know each other real well. It took a while, but after four years, he finally agreed to answer some questions...

Jon:  Start off with how you got started?

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The Golden Ticket

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The Golden Ticket

In 1993, a movie called “Last Action Hero” was released to the world and a specific aspect of it has always stuck with and intrigued me.  I’m not here to argue that this is a great movie(although it is pretty fuckin’ good) or that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the shit and has acted in some of the greatest movies ever made(Twins, Junior, Jingle All The Way).  I am here to discuss a golden ticket that gave you entrance into something amazing and it wasn’t into a retarded chocolate factory.

 

Before J. J. Abrams copyrighted lens flares, before Charles Dance was cutting apart animals on Game of Thrones, and even before Bridgette Wilson-Sampras got old and gave up on life, we were introduced to this(yet another) random Arnie movie.  But this time the plot device was a golden ticket, supposedly bestowed with magic by Houdini, that allowed its owner to travel in and out of movies at will.  AWESOME!   Unfortunately, the owner of this ticket is a runty little brat with no imagination and once it falls into the hands of somebody with a little more creativity, his head explodes.  He spoke of bringing a group of famous villains into the world, I’m here to kick it up a notch.

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You Can't Wait To Know This! by Keith Garsee

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You Can't Wait To Know This! by Keith Garsee

Little-old-man-turned-Internet-villain Bill Cosby was spotted over the weekend eating a piece of fruit. No confirmation yet as to what kind of fruit it was, but it was probably one of the types of fruits that grows on trees and definitely not the gay kind because everyone knows now that Bill Cosby likes pussy.

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My Brain Hurts

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My Brain Hurts

After I pissed myself the last time I got drunk, my phone wont let me unlock it unless I restart it.  I wonder if this was all plotted.  The phone still works, but now when I text, it repeats every letter to the point that it looks like I’m a stuttering idiot.  I’m not. I speak with perfect clarity.  But my phone disagrees. To all my “friends” it seems normal because I’m constantly hammered and sending weird texts.

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