Kill Pretty Reviews: VHS
The home video market fucked up when they began producing DVDs. What do I want an animated menu for? Director or (even worse) cast commentary? Drop that shit in a bucket of radioactive waste. No one cares what happened at craft services on the day you filmed the climactic fight scene between Mickey Rourke and a tiger.
Good Burger: The Epitome of Nostalgia TRASH
*CRACK fzzzzzz SLURP* Can you taste the nostalgia? Remember how great Good Burger was? What a classic comedy movie! I love buddy comedies, don’t you? Good Burger is the absolute perfect example of nostalgia TRASH. If you think of it in your mind, you can remember great things, but don’t look too close! The reality is empty and pathetic. Not only is Good Burger terrible, it serves as the perfect metaphor for the separation between adult and kid comedy. It is the beginning of that horrible Disney comedy we see running rampant today. Worst of all it assumes all children are stupid and by the ratings, maybe they’re right?
Kill Pretty Reviews: Exercise
I'll be the one to say it (I actually have to be the one to say this because I’m writing it), I’m surprised by how much I enjoy working out. I don’t enjoy it so much that I’m rating in above a four, but that’s pretty good for an activity that makes you disgusting and tired.
Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James
Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a text message with 10 sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.
Killer Nun or How Religion Was Made For Sex Freaks! (EXPLICIT CONTENT!!)
I was 15 when I developed a fetish for nuns. No, I wasn’t biting my thumb getting spanked in catholic school (I wish!). I rented a vhs called Ms .45. It was a rape revenge story about a mute woman who is raped twice on her way home from work and decides to kill all sleazy men. In the last scene she goes to a Halloween party dressed as a nun and it’s one of the sexiest scenes in movie history. Ever since that moment I’ve had a thing for nuns.
Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James
Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a text message with 10 sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.
Kill Pretty Reviews: Loud Noises
Loud noises, be they crashes, smashes, pows, pops, or bangs, are at best debatable. I’m not going to deny that there are people out there who thrive on noises, the louder of which the better. I’m not one of those people. I don’t wake up in the morning aching to put my ear next to a raging buzz saw. I don’t like fire crackers just to feel my ears bleed. I am simply not a fan of noises louder than a reasonable decibel level.
Ruby - #17
Another entry in the Ruby Saga from Matt Delight. In this one a guy gets punch so hard in the head that he gets sober.
Kill Pretty Reviews: Summer Holidays
Summer holidays, what is the point of you? I know that the Fourth of July is a celebration of winning the right to eat hamburgers and wear shorts even when we don’t have the gams for it, but Labor Day? Wimbledon? Summer Solstice? Get out of here. I don’t need you to have a cook out with my friends, I just need someone to bring ice.
The Kill Pretty Guide To The Fourth Of July
Learn everything you need to know about how to celebrate the Fourth of July from your helpful pals at Kill Pretty.
Small World
Watch Abraham Dubin get small, but also stay normal sized while skateboarding and wearing a distinctive color that may or may not be orange.