I've Had It Up To Here With All These Star Wars

Are we still doing this? By “this,” I mean Star Wars. It’s been almost 50 years since Luke Skywalker blew up the Death Orb with the help of a friendly old man ghost before smooching his sister, and somehow audiences are still foaming at the mouth for another war in the stars. Can’t we just give (star) peace a chance?

I don’t know if my problem is with Star Wars so much as it is with Nerd Culture, an industry that can be traced back to the late ‘90s when faux stressed Marvel t-shirts began selling like the cure for death at Wal-Marts around the country. Today one doesn’t even have to enter a brick and mortar store to be pandered to, there are subscription services for knick-knacks and bobbleheads and entire streaming services seemingly dedicated to furthering the exploits of those who continue to serve in the Star Wars. The billion dollar industry surrounding nerd culture wouldn’t feel so insidious if it weren’t constantly mining nostalgia to create semi-new versions of the same old shit.

Am I missing something about the continuing appeal of Star Wars, ‘80s nostalgia, and otherwise retro vibes? I love curling up with a good VHS of Re-Animator as much as anyone else but we have to keep moving forward or risk being stuck in a time loop of nostalgia until we’re dead, having never accomplished anything aside from memorizing the lore of a story owned and operated by the Disney corporation.

Hopefully this isn’t coming off as harsh. The last thing I want is to be chased through the streets with a lightsaber or ray-gun. I suppose if that were to happen it would be a great article: “I Was Chased Through The Streets By A Nerd Wielding A Lightsaber Or Ray-Gun.” I can smell the clicks now.