Modern life is the pits. People go to work. They go to school. They drive home. They eat. They shit. They go to sleep. Where are the boss battles? The robot friends who want to find a soul? The giant dragons flying through the sky as a mind throbbing score swells over the scene? These are just a few of the things that you’re missing out on by refusing to live like you’re in a video game. It’s time to reframe your life into something far more interesting than your regular day to day.

The most important step to living like you’re the main character of a video game is to decide what kind of game you’re inside. Is this an MMORPG with an open world where multiple players can come and go as they please? Or are you the only free thinker in a world of NPCs?

1 Smash Everything In Sight

It doesn’t matter if you’re side scrolling through life or on a fabled journey to stop a great evil destroying the land, you never know what treasures are just sitting in a pot or in some bricks hanging precariously in the air. Smash that shit and find out what’s inside.

2 Sleep Primarily In Inns

Any self ascribed button-smasher knows that homes are for storing things like money, giant hammers, and loot claimed in far off realms, not for sleeping. Rest only comes to those who seek out a kindly innkeeper who brings comfort in the form of a bed for a modest fee. Replenish your hearts, meet new people, and discover side quests in these bastions of comfort. Keep in mind that you don’t have to hole up in a Best Western or a Ramada, you can fight your way into the Four Seasons if you have enough HP. And remember, smash everything in sight.

3 Don’t Accept Your Original Design

In video games as well as in IRL there’s nothing more boring than playing with a stock character. You may have to stick with the basic skins that you’re saddled with upon birth to learn game mechanics and what have you for a few years, but once you have a handle on how to move through the world it’s time to change things up. Add a blue mohawk to your look. Grow a giant dick. Grow a tiny dick. What about one big arm that’s actually a sword and a tattoo of the Konami logo on your face? The sky’s the limit when it comes to your personal design. Who do you see when you think about yourself? Become that character. It’s okay if your character changes over time, there’s no point in life being repetitious especially when it comes to your ideal self.

4 Never Travel Linearly

Why walk/ride a horse/pilot a hover craft from one destination to another when you can transport between saved destinations?

5 Keep An Eye Out For Save Points

This is probably the most important part of living like you’re in a video game. We live in a world of random shooters, disease, war, and microplastics – at some point you’ll need a save point to pick up where you left off. Some save points are automatic (sleeping in an inn for instance), but others have to be sought out. That large floating diamond in the middle of the arcade you used to go to all the time in junior high? That’s a save point. The birthday party where you watched TMNT 2 and threw up after eating too much cheese pizza? The Orange Nickelodeon VHS is a definitely a save point. Find enough of these bad boys and you’ll find infinite replay value in this game called life.