Terrible Fucking Advice with Murdock St. James: Holiday Edition
/Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a Christmas card with 10 festive sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.
Turn your ass into an advent calendar, it’s not as hard as it sounds.
Most of the “12 Days of Christmas” work in the bedroom, especially the “maids a milking.”
Stop saying that you’re going to “cum down her chimney.” It’s weird, Dylan.
For the month of December only, “pegging” is called “candy-caning.”
Don’t take home a mall Santa, especially if he mentions anything about his “North Pole.
Remember guys, the more milk and cookies you eat this season, the more your cum will still taste like cum.
Federal law states that anyone standing under a piece of mistletoe for more than ten seconds has to be kissed or face prosecution.
Dress your subs up like elves and see if they instinctively start making toys.
Telling someone that you’re going to “stuff them like a Christmas goose” it’s only sexy once, Dylan.
If you’ve ever wanted to fuck three wise men in a manger full of hay, this is the time to do it.
