There are secret bars, and then there are secret bars. Bars so secret that it’s as if they were created simply to drive the most adventurous alcoholics mad – these are those bars, so drink up you lush.
1. The Knick Knack Shop
The owners of this Ventura hole in the wall say that they’re just a souvenir shop, but they’ve never kicked me out for drinking tall boys near their collection of antique nutcrackers.
2. Charlie Chaplin’s Mausoleum
Once you stroll through the gates of the Hollywood Forever Cemetery you’re one step (or however many steps constitutes a “stroll”) closer to one of the most hidden bars in Los Angeles. Upon entering the mausoleum where the “lil’ hobo” was put to eternal rest you’ll meet Gus, an old school bartender who makes a mean old fashioned. It’s actually the only thing he makes so don’t ask for anything else.
3. The Second L On The Hollywood Sign
When the Hollywood sign was being revamped in 1949, the workman on the project constructed their own tiki bar in the second L where they’d go to drink before, during, and after their shifts. This small-scale renovation project still boasts the largest number of deaths per construction site. Visit the secret spot and order one of three island themed drinks that the bartender knows how to make – you’ll never want to leave (and you won’t be able to until you’re sober).
4. The Netflix Offices
I’m not sure if this actually constitutes as a bar, but everyone on the 17th floor keeps a bottle of something or other in their desks and if you bring your own cup they’ll happily pour you a shot if you say the secret word (“bojack”).
5. The K-Town Sewer
This is more of a climb bar than a dive bar, but it’s worth checking out if you want to get the good stuff – and by good stuff I mean drinking at a bar that no one else in your friend group has ever visited. At the intersection of 5th and Normandie open the sewer grate and step down the ladder until you finally touch solid ground. This should take no less than 5 mins. Spin around clockwise three times. Then spin counter clockwise another four. Knock on the third brick up from the bottom left and wait until a panel opens. Someone will hand you an 8 oz PBR, to which you’ll respond “thank you sewer man” before drinking your beer in silence and climbing back to the above ground world.