CELEBRITY CGI SCANDAL EXCLUSIVE!

As we all are becoming aware, technology can be used for good and evil. From Darpa to hoverboards, our evolving future always seems to surprise us. Less and less can we tell the truth from the lies, the real from the fake. Kill Pretty has stumbled upon a scandal so big it’s going to rock the sleaze journals of TMZ and Entertainment Tonight. As always we are on the cutting edge of news and today we are about to blow your mind.

 

Nothing is more important that image in Hollywood. Your dreamy eyes, your flowing hair and most of all your seductive body. We’ve all heard the stories of actors with personal trainers working day and night to perfect these sexy bodies to bring you to the box office. Well Kill Pretty has got exclusive photos that will change everything you know about those sexy bodies. For years now Hollywood has been using advanced CGI technology to actually change the way actors bodies look in film. To make them skinny, tall and sexy. If you’re ready to live outside your god delusion read on…

 

Chris Hemsworth

Thor, the god of big muscles and hard cocks. When Marvel chose their leading man for the part they knew they needed someone stronger and bigger than all the rest, someone that could convincingly play the part of the god of fuck. They chose Chris Hemsworth. Why? Because he exudes sex and drops panties? What if I told you Chris Hemsworth has been CGI’d from day one. What if I told you Chris Hemsworth is actually not who you think, or what you think.

 

 He obviously chooses to spend his money on computers to make him beautiful instead of a haircut.

He obviously chooses to spend his money on computers to make him beautiful instead of a haircut.

SORRY LADIES!

That’s right. Kill Pretty’s exclusive photo of Mr. Hemsworth proves, not only is he a skinny little bitch but he doesn’t even get hair cuts! Try again Marvel. This dude looks about as sexy as the dead dog down the street. Probably smells worse too!

Matthew McConaughey

As most already know, McConaughey got his start in Dazed and Confused. What you probably didn’t know is he was actually the director, Richard Linklaters, friend with leukemia. In order to grant one of his dying wishes he organized a team of the top CGI hackers to transform Matthew from a dying loser to the cool Wooderson in Dazed and Confused. He did so well Linklater paid for him to stay alive with advanced Hollywood doctors and they continued the CGI through his career to the top.

 

 He looks like an evil villain from a children's movie.

He looks like an evil villain from a children's movie.

Looks like your TOP HOT is a TOP NOT!

This guy could barely lift a pencil let a alone hold you at night and pleasure your body. Sorry girls! Looks like Matthew was all a dream! Or maybe he’s a nightmare?

 

 

CHRISTIAN BALE

American Psycho, Batman, Newsies. When you think of Christian Bale what do you imagine? Strong loving arms cradling you? Feeling safe against those muscles? Well sorry you WOMEN! He’s not all man like you thought he was! He’s actually a disgusting homeless ENGLISHMAN named Willie Wurshizor.

 

 Look at this dumb redneck...DUHHHHH!

Look at this dumb redneck...DUHHHHH!

I know, I know. It’s disgusting. After these exclusive photos hit the internet Hollywood will forever be changed. Our photographers were just as horrified as you are. Trust me. Batman is dead.

Looks like Christian Bale was a Christian FAIL!

 

MILA KUNIS

The goddess of sex, the face of fleshlights everywhere. Mila Kunis has been in the world's spank bank for over a decade now and we really hate to be the barer of bad news. Unfortunately Kill Pretty is all about getting the truth out there and CGI has made filled our fantasies with lies!

 

That’s right DUDES!

Kunis has not perfected her body, she has not been going to the gym. Her whole image is a lie. She is actually an overweight slob with resting bitch face. The dream is over! The queen is dead! Long live truth in media!