Sara R. from Mac. Actual post on Instagram.
Why do we smell bad where our favorite parts are?
Penises and vaginas are the best, but smell the worst.
Armpits and feet love to be tickled, but who wants to touch those stinky things?
We kiss as a sign of affection, but if you don’t brush your teeth for one day, your shit is rank.
I propose to make a new world order.
Where everyone has hair removal laser surgery done to their armpits and stinky parts.
Has any gland removed from their body that produces a smell.
And have plastic surgery to move their anus holes to their backs so that if we want to have sex there is no possibility of coming in contact with poopy stuff.
This is my dream of a new perfect world. Thank you.
Also, people will have to have their fingernails and toenails ripped out and the undersides of them burned so that they don’t grow back because who likes dirty finger nails? Not me!
And we will just do fake fingernails on top because those are way better looking anyway and it’s better for the economy.
Everyone is going to have to walk around in Uggs so no one gets callus feet too. Hard, rough feet are gross. So if that doesn’t fix your feet then you need to use lotion on them every night. Or just put the lotion inside your Uggs. We might as well do the same things with our hands. Latex gloves with lotion in them. That sounds perfect. I don’t want to touch anybody’s rough, yucky skin, do you?
You should have to brush “5” times a day and no one is allowed to eat stinky food anymore. Gross.
So, like, fish and tuna are a no no. Unless you’re eating sushi.
Coffee is ok, but you have to brush twice after, and have your teeth whitened every week.
Pretty smiles only.
Dreadlocks are a no go. Guess that means no hippies too.
Definitely no homeless people. They reek. So we have to give them money so they’re not poor anymore. Problem solved.
So in summation, if we come together as a team and start working together on these things then everyone we will be clean and no one will have to worry about stinky smells ever again. It would make the world a better place and easier and happier to live in for everyone.