An Excerpt From "The Saucer"
Issue Six of Kill Pretty features a story of sex, aliens, and Teletubbies from the one and only Steve Torres. It’s best if you just read this very horny excerpt and then purchase a couple of copies of the magazine. If you’re a fed or another Teletubby fetishist, please reach out to Steve personally and not the Kill Pretty staff (we rarely check our email).
How To Be Exciting And Cool
If you’re reading this it’s because a small part of you believes that not only are you uncool, but you’re extremely uninteresting. Or maybe just boring. Here are Kill Pretty we do everything we can to make the world a more outrageous/strange/fun/stupid place, which makes us both exciting and cool. We don’t make the rules, that’s just the way it goes. Heck, we’re not even typing this right now, that’s how much we don’t need to read this article. The article is being “written” by speaking into a robot constructed specifically to deal with anything uncool. Let’s just cut to the chase. There’s nothing cooler than brevity.
Killer Nun or How Religion Was Made For Sex Freaks! (EXPLICIT CONTENT!!)
I was 15 when I developed a fetish for nuns. No, I wasn’t biting my thumb getting spanked in catholic school (I wish!). I rented a vhs called Ms .45. It was a rape revenge story about a mute woman who is raped twice on her way home from work and decides to kill all sleazy men. In the last scene she goes to a Halloween party dressed as a nun and it’s one of the sexiest scenes in movie history. Ever since that moment I’ve had a thing for nuns.
Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James
Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a text message with 10 sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.
1. From now until October 1 butts are to be referred to as a “Golden Corral” because they’re all you can eat.
2. Ear wax, is it lube? Maybe.
Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James
Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a text message with 10 sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.
Science of the Swipe By Grubman
Mobile dating apps, while still in their infancy, have taken over the hearts, minds and fingers of almost everyone lucky enough to possess a smart device. Countless hours spent mining the minuta of potential partners, the details of datability, the chemistry, the compatibility, the instinct, the emotion. So many possibilities, so many paths to choose. One after another after another, in rapid fire, with little time to decode each decision. As quick as each flick may be, however, there is most certainly a science, if not an art, to the all-powerful, all-knowing swipe.
Man goes down on woman at Dead Kennedys concert - First Punk Rock act committed in 20 years
First off, congratulations to the woman who went and got her pussy eaten right on stage at a Solona Beach Dead Kennedys concert Thursday night.
Double-Date
About eight years ago, when my insecurity with women and desire to get laid still outweighed my determination to preserve my dignity, I went on a double-date and discovered what a double-date is. You might think you know the meaning of the term but you haven’t a clue...
