Let me tell you a little something about me.

I’m addicted to Slurpees. It probably has something to do with my love for Bart Simpson mixed with being a pothead in high school but I’m 27 now and still drink a Slurpee or two a week.

In the last two years I’ve encountered serious Slurpee issues. I moved to Los Angeles and none of the Slurpees out here are any good! Sounds strange right? How could one Slurpee be good and another be bad? Aren’t all Slurpee’s made out of the same magic?

Oh, I wish I was as naive to the Slurpee magic as you, good sir.