A Joke by Nick Murray

This was submitted by Nick Murray of Fancy Lads! Please check out their youtube videos and their website http://fancyladskateboards.bigcartel.com/ they are fucking funny!!


A struggling trio group of musicians decide to self-inflict a handicap to heighten their other senses and improve their playing. The first member gouges out his eyeballs. The second member cuts off his ears. The third member slices off his ball sack. The first two members get mad at number three for not following the instructions correctly. However, after having attempted to play music upon their first set as a maimed trio, it appears that player three is the only one to have progressed...and not just by a little, tenfold.

One and Two become confused and irritated and confront number three. Number three then says that he must confess, he had not mutilated his genitals as he had previously mentioned. Number two asks, "but how did you present us with a fresh pair at the beginning of our practice? Number one showed you his eyes and I showed you my ears." 

"Well, the thing about that is, I took number one's balls off in his sleep. I figured he wouldn't see it coming."

Number one asks to number two,"Number two, can you take a look to verify this for me?"

Number two does and to his surprise, both balls were there and in fact intact. Number two then turns to number three, "Ok, the jig is up, where did you get that fresh ball sack from?"

Number three then confesses, "OK, I lied again, number one, while you weren't listening and number two while you weren't looking, I took your eyeballs and your ears and I crafted together a makeshift ball sack dipped in spaghetti sauce, heated for authenticity. 

"Well, that all makes sense, but we still don't understand one thing, why were you better at playing than you were before and we have made a true sacrifice with no improvement? Care to tell us? It hardly seems fair."

"Ok, while you two were busy not seeing or hearing I attached the eyes of number one and the ears of number two to my ball sack and they have been playing my sets."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's a bit far-fetched, don't you think? Number two can you take a look for me to verify?" asked number one.

Number two takes a look at number three's ball sack and sure enough there it is clear as day, just as he had described, a ball sack with a set of eyes and ears and a tiny guitar strapped to it. After explaining to number one that this turned out to be the first bit of truth. Number one had to know for himself, "I'm gonna have to feel it to believe it" he said, as he proceeded to fondle number three's balls while number two sat there and watched. 

At that moment the look on number three's face was jubilant in his expression. Happy as a clam, three revealed to one and two that he also lied about progressing whatsoever and confessed to having a fantasy of one man fondling his balls while another man watches. They were too deaf, dumb, and blind to figure out number three was the one who formulated the proposition of dismemberment after having his menage a trois proposal rejected. 

Oh boy, did the three brothers have a good laugh about that one.