We’ll never know if Fyre Festival was a scheme to trap gullible social media influencers on an island and slowly deprive them of supplies until they broke into separate factions and ate each other or if it was a regular scam that didn’t have anything to do with cannibalism. Whatever the case Ja Rule, one of the creators of Fyre Festival, doesn’t think the initial get together went as planned so he’s putting together a new version of the fest and we’ve got an inside look on what’s waiting for you if purchase $5,000 VIP ticket.
Why bathe like a commoner when you can bathe like royalty? Just flash your VIP bracelet to any Fyre Festival employee and say “let’s get trashed” to feel a barrel of fresh garbage rain over your head. As the excess vape juice trickles down your face you’ll think, “I earned this.”
Criterion Editions Of Timecop 2
When Ja Rule and his crew rented out this bomb ass tropical island for Fyre Festival 2 they didn’t realize it was where Criterion jettisoned their backstock of the Jason Scott Lee time travel epic Timecop 2: The Berlin Decision. The film is a 4K restoration of the direct to DVD sequel to the Jean Claude Van Damme hit and there are enough copies for everyone in attendance.
10 Minutes With The Old Coot
This old coot’s been on the island for decades, no one knows where he comes from and no one knows what he does, but you know you want to talk to him. While every attendee will have at least one interaction with the old coot, a VIP ticket holder will get a chance to listen to him ramble about the cats he ate for dinner, or how his daughter never calls him anymore.
Note From Fyre Festival Management: Old Coot will not be available from 9pm to 10:30 pm on the Saturday of the festival due his scheduled performance with Major Lazer.
A Night In The Flame Hut
Okay so it’s not a hut, it’s actually a tent, and it’s on fire. As dangerous as that sounds, you’ll want to risk everything to get a good night’s sleep in the flame hut because Ja Rule’s island gets down to freezing temperatures after the sun goes down. Yikes, right?
You May Wear The Slop Hat
This sombrero, dripping with slop, will be the envy of every Fyre Festival 2.0 peasant who walks along the slums of the beach. With a VIP pass you’re allowed 30 minutes with the slop hat. Feel the soggy crown squish down on your head, wipe what looks like cheese away from your brow and have your picture taken on a cliff overlooking Ja Rule’s cavern of trash.