Nine Reasons Why My Dad and I Have Stopped Talking and One Thing That I Like About My Dad Per My Therapist’s Request

My dad and I haven’t spoken in years. There wasn’t one thing that ended our relationship, but rather a series of escalating failures on both ends that illustrated how different we are from one another, and how it’s probably best that we don’t hang out. My therapist, Dr. Blynn Jarhnson, said that whenever I think about why we stopped speaking that I should always try and think of one thing that I like about him, or about something on which we can connect. Rather than reach out and tell him those things I felt like sharing it with you, the Kill Pretty readers:

  • In 2006 I said that the live version of Rambling Man by The Allman Brothers was too long.

  •  The Eddie Murphy caricature hanging in his den.

  •  All of his swords.

  •  Lisa

  •  The Amulet

  •  That time he lied about finishing Infinite Jest.

  •  That time I lied about finishing Infinite Jest.

  •  Gary Rossington’s guitar playing.

  •  When he said that he was, “still [my] daddy and could spank [me] whenever he felt like it” on my 30th birthday. 

  •  He can recite Oliver Stone’s Platoon from memory.