“I am Cornholio, I need TP for my bunghole.”
Truer words have never been spoken on this beautiful green ball of life. This chapter is going to focus in on the symbolism and teachings of the Great Cornholio. While I’m sure, at first glance, you can see Cornholio as the ultimate symbol of the fool, Cornholio has many secrets and many truths. Even I passed him off as a comedic element for years before finally picking up on the subtle teachings of this reincarnated buddha figure.
My path of understanding the Great Cornholio started with a simple phrase in season seven episode two entitled “Vaya Con Cornholio” where Beavis says, “I am from Lake Titicaca.” Beavis had just drank an exorbitant amount of the energy drink Volt cola, transformed into the Great Cornholio and had been mistaken by immigration as an illegal immigrant. This classic episode was the electrifying moment where I jumped up in my chair and had a thought.
Why was he from “Lake Titicaca”? What did that mean? You see Lake Titicaca is the birthplace of the Incas, the largest empire in pre-Columbian America. The Inca’s worshiped the sun god Inti. Why did they worship the sun god Inti? They did this in order to insure the growth of their crops. You see, Cornholio is a very deep and multifaceted symbol. His first teaching is to worship what forces you to grow. Worship your hardship, worship your suffering. These are the things that move you forward, that force change in your life and make you a better person. Much like the Incas, Cornholio embraces the chaos of being human. He is change manifested. He is no longer Beavis but a louder, stronger and smarter Cornholio. A man of direction and confidence. A man that does not fear the unknown but embraces it. But this is not his only teaching.
Why does Cornholio need TP? TP is short for toilet paper, something westerners use as a false insurance that their anus’s are clean after defication. Cornholio says these words as a metaphor to show he is processing his reality. He is taking it in and letting it out. He is letting it through him and no longer feels clean. It is a reminder that, although you may not feel clean, you must process this world and keep moving. Do not hold on to the things you see, the things you feel, the things you experience. Let them move through you and always continue forward. You will always feel in need of “TP” but that shouldn’t stop you from a life well lived. Continue forth, challenge the world, be your own Great Cornholio, whatever form that takes.
Cornholio is truly the manifestation of the Id. The impulsive and unconscious part of our psyche which responds directly and immediately to the instincts. He is the new born baby, experiencing life as if almost in a dream. Cornholio reminds us that life is to be lived, to be enjoyed. Even at your most unconscious, your most stupid, you can go farther! You can be stupider! You can put a shirt over your head, chug soda and worship the sun! Do what makes you feel good. Feel your body, feel your thoughts, move with the rhythm of life without fear of rejection or judgment. Only then, when you truly embrace the Great Cornholio, will you be fully realized.