November 28, 2015

Things I'm Going To Buy With My New Credit Card by Jacob Shelton

November 28, 2015/ Jacob Shelton

After over ten years of having non-existent to bad credit, I’ve finally done it. I’ve tricked a company into giving me a credit card. Before I won my new magic card, I assured myself and anyone who would listen that I would only use my free money for good. That I would use it to fix my car, to buy a plane ticket to visit my mother, to save a small orphan in Guatemala. But all of that’s out the window now that I have the actual card in my hands. I can feel its monetary power coursing through my veins, the numeral indentions are whispering to me, sending me to Amazon.com and telling me to look up expensive pounds of coffee.

November 27, 2015

Diary of a Madman

November 27, 2015/ Nacho

Feel this shit.

November 26, 2015

25 Important Things to Know By Mr Rich

November 26, 2015/ Mr. Rich

1 - Do not try to bleach your hair with actual bleach. This will hurt your fucking head.

2 - If you are zappin' a Cup O Noodle in the microwave, don't forget to put water in that shit. It will light on fire and stink up your microwave and make your mom mad.

3 - No matter how much weed you have smoked, your heart will not explode. No it wasn't laced and no you don't need to go to the hospital.

4 - Don't try and drink an entire box of wine in under 8 hours on a dare. You will most likely shit your pants.

5 - An oven does not make a good alternative for a dryer, especially when drunk. You will burn your pants and have to walk home looking like Fire Marshall Bill.

6 - Huge downhill road + rain + your bicycle + being hungover = injury/ shattered helmet/ broken bicycle.

7 - Be wary of beerbonging 2 40oz Steel Reserves from a rooftop through a garden hose. You could throw up on yourself in your friend's backyard and not care.

November 25, 2015

Lickin' Robot Dick: A How-To Guide

November 25, 2015/ Nacho

Important INFO!

November 25, 2015

Tales From The Tinder

November 25, 2015/ Nacho

Welcome kiddies! Tonight’s story is about a simple boy, looking for some tail, and a girl who had a drink and went off the rail! Now that’s what I call, getting your fill! (*CACKLES*)

November 24, 2015

Enlightenment Inc. By Sean Conforti

November 24, 2015/ Sean Conforti

When I was in university I cleaned a yoga studio in exchange for one free class per week- because enlightenment/liberation/metaphysical masturbation tend to be prohibitively expensive. I did a teacher training program a few years ago, and this is the healthy perspective from which I view the larger community of yoga people

November 23, 2015

The Third Issue Has Arrived!

November 23, 2015/ Nacho

The first shipment of issue 3 is here and it's BEAUTIFUL! We still can't figure out how to open these tricky Chinese boxes but as soon as we do orders will be out! In the mean time check out the PREVIEW section for some glimpses at what's in store!