Corporate Bravery: McDonald’s Claims That Chicken McNuggets Can Help You Grow Into A Big Boy

One of the most recognizable fast food brands has opted for a bold new campaign strategy, one which changes the way its diners associates the company’s product with just being a kid. McDonald’s has launched a new ad campaign that claims little boys who chow down on Chicken McNuggets three to five times a week will grow big and strong like Ronald McDonald, and that they might even be stronger than their daddies if they eat enough.

The health benefits of eating Chicken McNuggets multiple times a week haven’t been proven, but if this takes off it could be a game changer for Ronald and his burger fiends.

Mickey D’s got the ball rolling on their new campaign with a series of commercial spots that premiered on Monday. The first of which showed a young man devouring McNuggets until he was swollen with the processed chicken meat. As the filling distributed through his body he grew to nearly seven feet tall and punted his father across their back yard before a black screen with the campaign’s new slogan: “Get Big.” Another ad features what appears to be a seven year old boy doing push ups into a pile of McNuggets until his biceps are the size of bowling balls, he too assaults his father by the end of the commercial. “For years little boys have wanted to be big boys, McDonald’s wants to be there for them, whether they’re trying to beat their dad in an arm wrestling competition or shove their bully into a locker,” said a company spokesperson in a statement. “Since their inception McNuggets have been relegated to being a snack item, but we feel that this one-of-a-kind chicken experience should be enjoyed as a meal for anyone who wants to bulk up, especially little boys.”

Print ads have been placed at Scholastic book fairs and in parks across the country, places where little boys are likely to notice, there are even reports of ads going up in child psychology offices, a bold move which could pay off huge for the company if everything goes as planned.