For Thanksgiving I’m Having Stuffed Gorilla

It’s not hard to buy a gorilla. With the internet things are so easy you just point and click and then a week later there’s a guy asking you to sign for your giant refrigerated box that has a giant dead gorilla inside. Things are easier now. Only 10 years ago I would have had to go to a zoo and kill my own gorilla, now they’re just available on Amazon.

The gorilla is bigger than I thought. I mean, I know that gorillas are big and I purposefully ordered an adult because eating a baby gorilla would be depressing. And I’m feeding like 6 people so a baby gorilla might not even have enough meat. It’s hard to know these things. Next Year I’ll probably order a baby gorilla, I don’t know what I’m going to do with all the leftovers.

To cook a gorilla preheat the oven to 450 two days before your actual meal. Shave the gorilla (obviously), remove its vital organs and place those aside for later should you be using them for a mince meat or gorilla pie. If not then feed them to a dog. Once the organs are removed then fill the torso with oysters, bread stuffing, and whatever you like to stuff a turkey with, just more of it. Like I said gorillas are larger than you’d think so you need a lot of stuffing. Take the amount you’d use to stuff a turkey and quadruple it.

Fold the gorilla and place it into your oven. You may have to tape your oven closed in order to give the gorilla the proper roast, and after that’s accomplished you just sit back and wait for all that gorilla goodness to cook. I may go to Hell for this dish, but I know my guests will be pleased.