How Kill Pretty Readers Spent Labor Day

Kill Pretty spoke with five readers about how they spent Labor Day and their answers were as varied as our favorite nacho toppings. How did you spend your Labor Day? Basking in the sun or working for the man (hopefully for time and a half)?

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1. Gerald Flendergrast - Marketing Consultant

I had Friday and Monday off from my job as marketing consultant, but I still had to work at my other job over the weekend at the choke shop. It’s this store where people pay us to choke on different pieces of cake to see which ones look the best. The tips aren’t bad, but it would have been nice to sleep in.

2. Belly Nailbox - Male Dancer (exotic)

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Weekends are my big nights so I tend not to take them off regardless of holidays. There’s always one guy that wants to get tea bagged or pay extra for a my jockstrap so I can’t really take those days off. But to answer your question I never work on Mondays.

3. Martin Martinson - Unemployed

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Mondays are always pretty slow for me anyway, but last Monday was pretty cool. Lots of parties to hit, plenty of hot dogs and even some free beer. Labor Day fuckin’ rules.

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4. Buck, the Stain Goddess - Stain Godess

My position as “stain goddess” requires that I walk from home to home flinging sauce and urine on anyone who answers the door on a day to day basis. I’ve been ordained by Zeus, and because of this I may never take a day of respite.

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5. Henlock, Wizard of the Seven Gates - Wizard

The days mean nothing to me, whether it be Labor or otherwise. Henlock spent your American worker’s holiday the way he spends them all; searching for the amulet which shall render the sun black and turn the water to hungry crows.