I'm too sexy...
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Word on The Street: SCARLETT JOHANSSON: TRASH EATER (PHOTOS!!!)
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Shocking news from celebrity world reaches our desks every day, but this exclusive story about Scarlett was a shock even to us. The busboy from the Denny’s on Melrose broke the news. One night last week while taking the trash out he caught a glimpse of a strikingly beautiful homeless lady eating a weak old Lumberjack Slam out of the dumpster. Upon being noticed she slinked away into the darkness. It was none other than Ms. Johansson herself.
Read MoreWord on The Street: KRISTEN WIIG’S PLASTIC SURGERY NIGHTMARE EXCLUSIVE (PHOTOS!!!)
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Have you ever wondered what Kristen Wiig’s nipples look like? Well we have the inside scoop. The gardner at my work also cuts Ms. Wiig’s lawn and has been watching her walk around naked on his lunch break for the past 3 months. He has confirmed multiple surgeries have occurred to reduce her abnormally large nipples. Most people don’t know this, but her nipples were the diameter of a soft ball since birth.
Read MoreWord on The Street: Will Smith saves fingernail clippings for Christmas!!! (PHOTOS!)
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You may think that Will Smith would give great Christmas presents, but my cousin Barbara found out the truth last week: It turns out Will Smith forces his whole family to save all their fingernail clippings in a jar. Yes, even upcoming child star Jayden Smith. At the end of the year for Christmas, they mail the clippings as presents to friends and family across the world. Yuck. Yuck.
Read MoreWord On The Street: Joaquin Phoenix is a Minotaur!!! (PHOTOS!)
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The taco truck guy down the street from my house told me he’s Joaquin Phoenix’s neighbor and he’s been watching him over his fence for the past year. Joaquin has been turning into a Minotaur and has been forced to hire a construction crew to build a labyrinth around himself in order to protect his family from inevitable bowel dismemberment.
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