Summer holidays, what is the point of you? I know that the Fourth of July is a celebration of winning the right to eat hamburgers and wear shorts even when we don’t have the gams for it, but Labor Day? Wimbledon? Summer Solstice? Get out of here. I don’t need you to have a cook out with my friends, I just need someone to bring ice.
Read MoreTalk of reopening has been going on from the moment the country closed with a bug CACHUNK sound. As soon as the doors were locked and the open sign was flipped over people began asking, But when will we be open? I worry that if we open too soon someone will cough on me and I’ll turn into a lobster person, or melt into a puddle of bright purple goo, or die the slow boring death that I don’t want to think about but can’t stop thinking about.
Read MoreI know you’re reading this. Maybe you just woke up in mid-afternoon following a night of running through my neighborhood and setting off what can only be described as mild concussion bombs, or maybe you never sleep. Do the explosions ring through your ears and echo off the inside of your skull? Do you want us all to feel trapped inside the cacophony like you do? Well great news, it’s working.
Read MoreTo put it mildly, the cops are the worst. My acquaintances who skateboard and/or professionally bang their heads into concrete would say that cops “suck.” As rudimentary as that sentiment is I have to agree. Unlike some of my future topics (Bigfoot, drowning, hypnosis), there’s a hill of data, a mountain really, to back up the fact that the police are no good. You can’t see the data that I’m working with here but I beg you to believe me when I say that there are some big numbers backing me up.
Read MoreThis marks the end of our journey through the fable of Beavis and Butthead but fear not! This is only the beginning of your inner journey to understanding. Reading these lessons is only step one. Integrating these lessons into your life and even more importantly: watching the show, THIS is where your real journey begins. Oh, how jealous I am that I can not take your place in the start of your cosmic voyage!
As we’ve seen in chapter two, many different symbols and concepts litter Beavis and Buttheads world. From the food they eat to the people they meet, each has its own significance. But one thing sits highest, above all else, in Beavis and Buttheads minds. That, of course, is the female.
Read MoreYou’ve got to stay busy during quarantine or you’ll go crazy. You’ll find yourself clawing at the walls and flopping around the floor with phone in hand as you refresh twitter for more mind numbing coronavirus content. If you don’t want to make a sourdough starter and if whipped coffee doesn’t sound time consuming enough the following skills will help you pass the time and help you become a better person.
Read More“I am Cornholio, I need TP for my bunghole.”
Truer words have never been spoken on this beautiful green ball of life. This chapter is going to focus in on the symbolism and teachings of the Great Cornholio. While I’m sure, at first glance, you can see Cornholio as the ultimate symbol of the fool, Cornholio has many secrets and many truths. Even I passed him off as a comedic element for years before finally picking up on the subtle teachings of this reincarnated buddha figure.
Read MoreWhat’s the craziest thing that you believe? Do you watch the sky for chemtrails? Do you believe in UFO’s? What about interdimensional conspiracies that effect you on a cellular level? MindFuck is your destination for the most disturbing conspiracy theories that may not be theories at all. Put on your tinfoil hat, prepare to be changed.
Read MoreSexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a text message with 10 sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.
Read MoreThe Logo - At first glance the logo is a simple effective diagram of the characters in question but to the spiritually trained eye you can see that it is the infinity sign and the yin-yang sign all in one. It represents in infinite struggle of dark and light, good and bad, beautiful and ugly. But, as is on par with the genius of Mike Judge, these are not opposite characters. They are brothers, almost TWINS. The same man twice. This shows that while it is a battle of balance and equality, both sides are the same. Our opposites are us in the mirror. We are our own worst enemy and greatest brother. In the eyes of your foe you can see your soul….
Read MoreKill Pretty: Can you tell me how the band began?
TOMMY: Three of us were in this weird noise, grindcore scene in LA about 10 years ago playing in different bands. My band Razzle Blaster, Mykes band CO-OP, and Adam's band Oh Canada would all play these weird kinda DIY venues in LA like McWorld and The Cocaine. That's kinda how we all came to know each other. Those bands all broke up and we said, "Shit, let's hang out and start a new band together." We wanted to do something that wasn't so high concept because our previous projects we’re kinda larger than life ideas. So we said, "Let's just do folk-punk." Folk instruments. No amps no mics. Okay cool, this is simple, this is easy, we'll just show up at a park or behind a dumpster or at house party and play. That's how The Manx started. It started off as this throwaway thing.
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