The Munchkin Mafia

The Munchkin Mafia

The Munchkin Mafia came in again today. The last time they came in the leader asked me if I glued my vagina shut. This was an honest question.  He explained to me that women’s vaginas were supposed to be open.  He wanted to know what kind of strange parlor trick this was?! I tried to explain to him through clenched teeth that vaginas were like belly buttons ... innies & outties. 

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Five Christmas Traditions That Your Step-Father Roy Isn’t Telling You About

Five Christmas Traditions That Your Step-Father Roy Isn’t Telling You About

Roy’s been living with your mother for seven years even though they’ve been married for five. Everything about his lanky body and ape-like posture rub you the wrong way, but really it’s the way he celebrates Christmas that turns you off. You definitely hate the way he makes everyone open their presents one by one, and how he insists on wearing a Santa hat and beard and shoving a bowl full of jelly down his shirt when he hands gifts out, but there are five Christmas traditions that he keeps to himself, and for good reason.

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Elf On Da Shelf W/ The Weekend Pilots!

Elf On Da Shelf W/ The Weekend Pilots!

Kill Pretty is now in dirty dealings with everyone's favorite comedy band The Weekend Pilots! Every month we will be writing an article inspired by one of their songs. 

This month they threw us a X-mas song and even though we hate X-mas we love evil killer dolls so we went with it.

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