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Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James
Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a text message with 10 sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.
1. From now until October 1 butts are to be referred to as a “Golden Corral” because they’re all you can eat.
2. Ear wax, is it lube? Maybe.
Behind The Scenes Of The Release Party For Kill Pretty Issue 5
Our first editorial meeting is some time around 8:45pm in the middle of the release party for issue five. For some reason we’ve decided to put out a supplementary magazine on the same night as the issue we’ve been working on for the past year, but that’s fine. Why wouldn’t we shoot ourselves in the foot? To write, edit, and print a magazine in one night (less really, maybe four or five hours) we’ve taken on additional staff members, none of whom I’ve taken the time to learn their names. They all know me. They bring me 3,000 word articles on samurai being “lit AF” and 50 word reviews of the entire oeuvre of Jeff Koontz.
Five Times That It’s Totally Okay To Steal A Car
Regardless of how you feel about property and whether or not anything actually belongs to anyone, we can all agree that it’s not cool to go around stealing stuff - especially cars. On the whole, people need their cars to get back and forth from their jobs or to school, if that car’s stolen then the emotional and financial stress can be too much to bare for some people. However, there are a few completely acceptable circumstances in which you can steal a car.
Kill Pretty Goes To The Los Angeles Premiere Of Danzig's Verotika
When I arrive at the theater I pass through a sea of people with mohawks and back patches that simply read “Danzig.” The singer’s directorial debut is supposed to be so bad it’s good, but how many so bad it’s good movies can there really be? I receive a wristband and frightened worker says “Whatever you do, don’t laugh.” Before I can question him I’m pushed through the doors of the theater and given the option of a $7 beer or taking an early seat. I opt to take my seat.
Issue 5 Pre-Order is LIVE
The magazine is being shipped across the world! We hope for it to be here by the end of July. Get your pre-order in before they’re all sold out!
Five Secret Bars That Only Real LA Hipsters Know About
There are secret bars, and then there are secret bars. Bars so secret that it’s as if they were created simply to drive the most adventurous alcoholics mad – these are those bars, so drink up you lush.
1. The Knick Knack Shop
The owners of this Ventura hole in the wall say that they’re just a souvenir shop, but they’ve never kicked me out for drinking tall boys near their collection of antique nutcrackers.
