We had the whole staff chew dip for a week and all spit into the same jar. We threw ice in the jar and had a professional photographer shoot the jar. Can you guess which jar contains cold brew and which contains tobacco spit?? FUN!Read More
There are people spilling into the street; the sidewalk is overflowing with kids smoking Camels and drinking Miller High-Life. I say kids, but they could be my age, maybe they’re older, but I doubt it. It doesn’t matter; they’re having the kind of fun that has an undercurrent of frenetic youth. For some reason I don’t feel comfortable ordering an Uber on a street like this, full of people with multi-colored hair drinking cheap beer, this is how Troma movies begin. I tell Tyler that I’m going to walk a few blocks and order a car.Read More
Diving back into the dating world after three years was the proverbial equivalent of diving off the Bay Bridge in December into the frigid waters below. It’s an ice-cold electronic world out there and I’m just an out of touch fisherman trying to reel in the big catch with out catching fish herpes or getting scales on my dick.Read More
Each week, Rocko D. writes into Kill Pretty to let the audience know about the newest slang for buying, taking, and dealing drugs. We’re not saying that we like what Rocko D. does, but we need content.Read More
So it’s 2007, I’m 17 years old and I just left the (REDACTED) Juvenile Academy. I’m at my grandmother's house and I’m not sure how Maggie got there. Maggie’s 25 and by this point she’s already fucked so many people in my family including my pops and my step-mom.Read More
He was a good man.
You should try the casserole.
I’ve heard that drowning is much less painful than scientists believe.
Anything I can do, anything at all…
You think there’s room in there for two?
Before his spirit passed did he utter the syllable which cannot be heard?
Our friends little brother some how got a copy of Kill Pretty and now is begging us to let him write an article. He’s a little kid so we let him do the one thing he’s good at, complain. We went to the store and bought him five packs of cigarettes, don’t worry their lights, so he could smoke each pack and let us know what he thinks. Here’s his reviews..Read More
Each week, Rocko D. writes into Kill Pretty to let the audience know about the newest slang for buying, taking, and dealing drugs. While we at Kill Pretty don’t condone Rocko D.’s lifestyle, we do appreciate the space he fills on our site, and his desire to keep you - our customers - safe.Read More
Your ability to guess a girls weight within 10 pounds.
You’ve been wearing the same 5 pairs of boxers since junior high and none of them have holes.
The cleanliness of your kitchen sink.
The amount of Supernatural episodes you’ve watched.
Your love of playful but tasteful taxidermy.