Heartburn Forever

To read the FULL article you gotta buy the mag!!! Buy it HERE!

Every time I go to a fast food restaurant, it reminds me of certain painful interactions and with women from my past. As a poor person in Los Angeles, fast food is the most logical choice for my meals like 20% of the time. I eat it for survival and I know it’s fucked up, but fast food culture is ubiquitous here.

It’s different in Massachusetts. In my youth, fast food was used to mark a really special occasion. We used to have great birthday parties at McDonald’s. Or Burger King if the kid’s family had a good year fiscally. I really view Burger King as a treat and a legitimate meal to boot. Wendy’s is a different story. My family still has significant sit down dinners at Wendy’s. These are rich people, now. Like, these days, they have the wherewithal to go get 20 dollar burgers. But they’re still eating Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers.

McDonald’s, though obviously the shitties of the bunch, has really good pickle and ketchup chemicals. Burger King has crispy lettuce and nice mayo. Wendy’s, I mean come on, Wendy’s is a place I can’t even really admit is shitty. I have nothing bad to say about Wendy’s. They even make their burgers into shapes! So when I tell you my first time at In-N-Out was divine for me, I’m not lying. It was like… it was like eating freshly showered pussy for the first time. I shit you not. It’s like, the more you eat the better it tastes, and you can’t stop drooling or thinking about the next bite but at the same time you’re transported to a place and mindeset wherein you’re not aware of the future or the past, desire, or regret. You’re just there eating a burger/pussy, which is technically the entire point of America.

Want to read the rest of Steve’s story? You gotta buy the mag! Buy it HERE!!!

Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James: It's March!

Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James: It's March!

Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a personalized Post-It with ten must-read sex tips. Let’s get to it.

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Terrible Fucking Advice with Murdock St. James: Holiday Edition

Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a Christmas card with 10 festive sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.

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Terrible Fucking Advice with Murdock St. James - Black Friday Edition

Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a DM on Instagram with 10 sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.

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The Confessions of a Former Sub by Martine Du Sade

My name is Martine Du Sade and I am a sub. I’ve been a sub for approximately six years and Kill Pretty has asked me to write about my experiences. First things first, let us start at the beginning and dispel some ugly rumors. You don’t just become one. Someone does not just approach you in Starbucks and say, “Hey you look like the type of person who likes to be spanked, choked and ordered to do cock worship, how about it? By the way is this your caramel macchiato?”

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Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdoch St. James

Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdoch St. James

Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a Whats App message with 10 sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.

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Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James

Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James

Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a text message with 10 sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.

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Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James

Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James

Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a text message with 10 sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.

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Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James

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Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a text message with 10 sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.

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Love In An Instant

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“I think she’s sexy,” says the nutball. I do an invisible eye roll. I say what I’ve been waiting to say. There’s only one reason I’ve been sitting at his table. 

“I’m going to take a shot. Starla said I could.”

He ONLY brings the stripper juice for Starla. Aka Fireball. He doesn’t like to share. 

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Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James

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Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a text message with 10 sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.

1. From now until October 1 butts are to be referred to as a “Golden Corral” because they’re all you can eat.

2. Ear wax, is it lube? Maybe.

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