I am playing Cyberpunk 2077 to finally achieve my boyhood dream: I will be an e-girl. A violent, murderous, sword-wielding e-girl. This is an excerpt from my time in the world of Cyberpunk 2077. To read about the full transformation buy a copy of Kill Pretty Issue Six.
Read MoreBefore Rob Schrab found success with films like Monster House, The Sarah Silverman Program, and Mystery Science Theater 3000, he wrote and illustrated Scud: The Disposable Assassin. When Nacho wrangled Schrab to talk about his influential comic from the ‘90s he was more than happy to dive deep into the hyperkinetic world of everyone’s favorite robot assassin. Check out excerpts from the interview below, and pick up the magazine to read the full interview.
Read MoreAs of now the cats are quiet. Maybe they’re asleep. Maybe they’ve moved on from the sidewalk outside my front door to catch a mouse for breakfast. Is that a thing that cats really do, catch mice for breakfast? Fry them up with eggs to make their mouse omelets? Or do they simply feast on whatever isn’t rotting in an alley? The cats who lounge outside my apartment at night are demons straight from Hell so nothing would surprise me.
At night I hear the cats mewling. It starts with QB1, the alley cat who’s called this neighborhood home long before I moved in. Am I the interloper? Is that how he sees me? I don’t really care, I’d just like him to shut up. Back to the beginning of this paragraph: QB1 stalks the edges of my home, meowing to alert his friends to his presence. “I’m here. It’s time to begin our ghoulish ceremony.” He repeats this sentence for close to an hour before the others arrive. When his fellow cats come to his side it’s all at once as if they dropped out of the sky or teleported into their preferred area of ritual. It would be awe inspiring if it weren’t happening feet away from my front door.
The ever growing mass of cats sits in the shape of a Maltese Cross, their faces inches away from one another, from the moment that the sun is nothing more than a glow in the western sky to the moment when the sky turns purple. The brief transition from night to day. The cats sometimes speak telepathically. About what, I don’t know. However many of their hours spent in front of my apartment are spent hissing and growling in strange accents. Maybe German? Maybe something older? I’ve stopped shooing the cats away. They return more powerful each night to continue their ritual. I’ve slowly adjusted to their presence even if they continue to make me uncomfortable. Am I under their spell? Has my nervous system adjusted to the felines? Am I smoking too much weed? I’m afraid there’s no satisfactory ending here. This is only a report from the streets of Los Angeles.
You can follow Jacob Shelton on Twitter and Instagram or read more of his work in Mindfuck or in like every issue of Kill Pretty.
Issue Six of Kill Pretty is full of interviews with some of our favorite artists, but our write-up on BAER is not to be missed. Our lengthy discussion touches on everything alien abductions, to sex, and we might talk about art but mainly we just stick to talking about the first two things (alien abductions and sex). Cheapos can check out some of the interview here, but if you want to read the entire piece you’ve got to buy the magazine.
Read MoreIssue Six of Kill Pretty features an article on life, skateboarding, and rollercoasters by Abe Dubin, the one and only Orange Man. The entire article is amazing, but you’ve got to buy the magazine to read it all.
Read MoreOkay everyone relax. Seriously. Just be cool. You have to be chill because the rooster is here and he's super pissed!
FUCK! This was always going to happen but why is it happening today? Ugh. Why is the rooster so mad? Did you do something to the rooster? You did, didn't you?
Read MoreMini and Maxxi, aka the Baerettes, aren't just dating Graffiti King Baer, they also have rich interior lives. The girls were kind enough to let us into their lives in issue six of Kill Pretty.
Read MoreIn issue six of Kill Pretty, staff writer Jacob Shelton takes a death drive into the heart of madness with the spiky haired madman, chef Guy Fieri. Check out the following excerpts from our profile on the Diners, Drive-In, and Dives host below and read the full thing in issue six.
Read MoreThis morning I woke up with the strangest feeling – I don’t want to do anything. Oh sure I’ll make coffee and put on a robe so I don’t flash the neighbors peeking through my curtains, but when it comes to doing any actual work it’s just not happening. Case in point: In the middle of the last sentence I stopped to watch an episode of Survivor before staring out the window for 20 to 30 minutes.
Read MoreIn this world there are only two types of people: Salami Mommies and Beef Chiefs. Your race, gender, and sexuality have nothing to do with one’s inner mommy or chief, you simply know one way or the other. However, we can be wrong from time to time and that’s why you’ve got to think about this for yourselves, email us your answer and wait until we let you know whether you’re right or wrong. So what is it, are you a Salami Mommy or a Beef Chief?
Read MoreAs if issue Six of Kill Pretty wasn’t already stuffed with enough cool shit, we’ve got an interview with Blake Anderson from Workaholics hidden somewhere inside. Here’s a taste of what he has to say about hollow moon theory, but if you want to know all the weird shit he’s been up to you’ve got to buy the magazine.
Read MoreMaybe you don't read the memos we send out or maybe you're just a fan of flaunting the rules, but like it or not we're under the ownership of a corporation with global reach and that extends to the supply room. You know, the supply room where you did that thing. Yeah dude, everybody knows and corporate is pissed.
Read MoreKill Pretty is a lifestyle, entertainment, humor, graffiti magazine.
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