This marks the end of our journey through the fable of Beavis and Butthead but fear not! This is only the beginning of your inner journey to understanding. Reading these lessons is only step one. Integrating these lessons into your life and even more importantly: watching the show, THIS is where your real journey begins. Oh, how jealous I am that I can not take your place in the start of your cosmic voyage!
As we’ve seen in chapter two, many different symbols and concepts litter Beavis and Buttheads world. From the food they eat to the people they meet, each has its own significance. But one thing sits highest, above all else, in Beavis and Buttheads minds. That, of course, is the female.
Read MoreYou’ve got to stay busy during quarantine or you’ll go crazy. You’ll find yourself clawing at the walls and flopping around the floor with phone in hand as you refresh twitter for more mind numbing coronavirus content. If you don’t want to make a sourdough starter and if whipped coffee doesn’t sound time consuming enough the following skills will help you pass the time and help you become a better person.
Read More“I am Cornholio, I need TP for my bunghole.”
Truer words have never been spoken on this beautiful green ball of life. This chapter is going to focus in on the symbolism and teachings of the Great Cornholio. While I’m sure, at first glance, you can see Cornholio as the ultimate symbol of the fool, Cornholio has many secrets and many truths. Even I passed him off as a comedic element for years before finally picking up on the subtle teachings of this reincarnated buddha figure.
Read MoreThe Logo - At first glance the logo is a simple effective diagram of the characters in question but to the spiritually trained eye you can see that it is the infinity sign and the yin-yang sign all in one. It represents in infinite struggle of dark and light, good and bad, beautiful and ugly. But, as is on par with the genius of Mike Judge, these are not opposite characters. They are brothers, almost TWINS. The same man twice. This shows that while it is a battle of balance and equality, both sides are the same. Our opposites are us in the mirror. We are our own worst enemy and greatest brother. In the eyes of your foe you can see your soul….
Read MoreIn 1992 Mike Judge released a short film called, “Frog Baseball”. This film introduced us to two of the most classic buffoons the world as ever known. While the masses saw this as an exercise into extreme stupidity, the truly gifted religious teachers saw the truth. Beavis and Butthead was a spiritual teaching. They represented two truly enlightened beings who played the roles needed to teach us the true path. The path of television, boobs and enlightenment.
Read MoreHas there ever been a television series that captured what it was like to come of age while living next to mummy infested waters the way Dawson’s Creek did? Not in my book. The Creek filmed in Wilmington, North Carolina, an area famously rotten with mummies. And while the picturesque landscapes helped cement the idea of the idyllic town of Dawson’s Creek, it was almost all for not because of those dang mummies.
Read MoreThe moon. Your friend, imaginary lover, and largest nocturnal celestial body gracing the sky – or is it? Have you ever stopped to consider the possibility that the moon is actually an alien spacecraft orbiting Earth, lying in wait until the time comes for interplanetary domination? I doubt it. You and your heliocentric worldview probably never take the time to reflect on the possibility that something’s not right with that big piece of cream pie in the sky.
Even if the moon isn’t a spaceship full of Reptilians/Greys/Doktarians, it’s still not on the up and up. Can we at least agree on that? Something seems off about its craggy, too perfectly imperfect surface. An alternate and equally viable theory is that the moon is a holographic projection thrust into the sky by NASA. Scoff if you like, but there are signs every night that the moon is nothing more than an elaborate hoax beamed into the sky that’s meant to keep you docile.
Have you ever noticed that the moon is sometimes very big and other times very small? How can you explain the size disparity with anything other than a projector? Some nights the moon turns red, I’ve also seen it a hastily painted yellow. Um hello, NASA, the moon is white! How are we supposed to trust these ding dongs with a government pension to send us to space if they can’t even keep the color of the moon straight? Or maybe the moon just changes color, there’s really no way of knowing.
Taco Bell, the purveyors of fourth meal, feeders of stoners, teens, and stoned teens everywhere have no shortage of sodium-pumped delicacies waiting to be covered in Hot or Fire Sauce (or Mild, if you’re one of those people), before being shoved down your gullet. From time to time Taco Bell rolls out a new treat that’s so wonderful, so enticing that it’s too good for this world. Sometimes they’re local oddities, in other cases they’re national experiments that come and go in the span of a summer. Taco Bell may be the greatest fast food restaurant in the universe, but they’ll never win our undying love until they bring back these obscure menu items.
Read MoreIf you’re like me, meaning a person who grew up in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s (which statistically you’ve got to be somewhere in that big ass ball park) then you spent an inordinate amount of time watching movies featuring one Mr. Ernest P. Worrell. You watched as he was “scared stupid” and as he was incarcerated for crimes which he didn’t commit. His film work faded out as children grew callous and tired of this man-child’s adventures, but I feel that it’s time Ernest make a come back and these are the flicks I’d like to watch in the theater, at home on my VCR, and through the windows of my most beautiful neighbors.
Read MoreHour seven of walking through a warehouse the size of six Costcos is when you start to lose your mind. Forklifts whiz by, their drivers wearing an orange vest honk at you to get out of their way, and at least one of them slapped my arm with a plastic ruler when I tried to hop on the back of his little truck. I just wanted freedom, it didn’t matter how I released from my box lined prison.
Read MoreMy dad and I haven’t spoken in years. There wasn’t one thing that ended our relationship, but rather a series of escalating failures on both ends that illustrated how different we are from one another, and how it’s probably best that we don’t hang out.
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