Five Scenes In Dawson’s Creek That Were Almost Ruined Because A Mummy Walked On Set And Tried To Wrap People Up In Mummy Tape

Five Scenes In Dawson’s Creek That Were Almost Ruined Because A Mummy Walked On Set And Tried To Wrap People Up In Mummy Tape

Has there ever been a television series that captured what it was like to come of age while living next to mummy infested waters the way Dawson’s Creek did? Not in my book. The Creek filmed in Wilmington, North Carolina, an area famously rotten with mummies. And while the picturesque landscapes helped cement the idea of the idyllic town of Dawson’s Creek, it was almost all for not because of those dang mummies.

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The Moon: Fact Or Fiction

The moon. Your friend, imaginary lover, and largest nocturnal celestial body gracing the sky – or is it? Have you ever stopped to consider the possibility that the moon is actually an alien spacecraft orbiting Earth, lying in wait until the time comes for interplanetary domination? I doubt it. You and your heliocentric worldview probably never take the time to reflect on the possibility that something’s not right with that big piece of cream pie in the sky.

 

Even if the moon isn’t a spaceship full of Reptilians/Greys/Doktarians, it’s still not on the up and up. Can we at least agree on that? Something seems off about its craggy, too perfectly imperfect surface. An alternate and equally viable theory is that the moon is a holographic projection thrust into the sky by NASA. Scoff if you like, but there are signs every night that the moon is nothing more than an elaborate hoax beamed into the sky that’s meant to keep you docile.

 

Have you ever noticed that the moon is sometimes very big and other times very small? How can you explain the size disparity with anything other than a projector? Some nights the moon turns red, I’ve also seen it a hastily painted yellow. Um hello, NASA, the moon is white! How are we supposed to trust these ding dongs with a government pension to send us to space if they can’t even keep the color of the moon straight? Or maybe the moon just changes color, there’s really no way of knowing.

The Art Of Warez Documentary

The Art Of Warez Documentary

The ANSI scene is a lesser known underground world of art born out of early computers in the 90’s. BBS’s were Bulletin Board Systems where people communicated and traded illegal cracks of video games and software at the very beginning of the internet. These bulletin boards were private and had to be accessed through passwords creating underground communities. Hundreds of thousands of original pieces of art were made for these BBS’s, most of which are now gone.

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Grown Ups 3 Is The Adam Sandler Slasher You've Always Wanted

Grown Ups 3 Is The Adam Sandler Slasher You've Always Wanted

Complacency is a killer in Grown Ups 3, the spec script lovingly written by Best Show host and What We Do In The Shadows producer Tom Scharpling. Released on Monday, January 6 without any more fanfare than Scharpling stating that it’s “the best thing I’ll ever do in my life,” the script has galvanized disparate sections of the internet – specifically comedy and film twitter. However there’s no discussion about the film in horror circles, either because the slasher aspect of the script is one of the many twists that are baked into the story, or maybe people just don’t think spine chilling horror when they hear the words Grown Ups.

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How to Beat Depression If You’re A Complete Piece of Shit

How to Beat Depression If You’re A Complete Piece of Shit

Do you ever get down, sad or just lonely? Some people call it depression, my mom would just say ‘quit being a pussy like your father.’ I’ve been studying depression on myself for quite sometime and with the help of a cheating whore ex girlfriend – I hate you Rista! (K has been removed to protect that cheating whore). While there’s no cure for it, there are a few methods I would recommend before you decide to tie that belt around your ceiling fan like a man and make your Nanna cry when she comes home from church.  

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Five Cryptids You’ve Never Heard Of Who I Wish Would Stop Dating My Mom

Five Cryptids You’ve Never Heard Of Who I Wish Would Stop Dating My Mom

It’s not that my mother and I have the best relationship. We don’t. It’s fine. Sometimes we talk once a week, and then I’ll just go months without speaking to her. It’s not a malicious thing, we just don’t have anything to say to one another. Speaking to my mom is like finding Bigfoot, the harder I try the less I hear from her. Inevitably, when I do get her on the phone she’s always got some new - and I’m not being malicious when I say this - creature in her life. These Sasquatch adjacent creeps fly in from the sky, or the woods of the Pacific Northwest and shack up with my mom for a while before doing what a cryptid does best and vanishes into the mist.

My mom has dated her fair share of UFO flying weirdoes and Loch Ness Monster wannabes, but there are five creatures from her past that really take the cake. Literally, one of them stole a cake from her. Who does that?

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Five Obscure Taco Bell Items That Need To Come Back

Five Obscure Taco Bell Items That Need To Come Back

Taco Bell, the purveyors of fourth meal, feeders of stoners, teens, and stoned teens everywhere have no shortage of sodium-pumped delicacies waiting to be covered in Hot or Fire Sauce (or Mild, if you’re one of those people), before being shoved down your gullet. From time to time Taco Bell rolls out a new treat that’s so wonderful, so enticing that it’s too good for this world. Sometimes they’re local oddities, in other cases they’re national experiments that come and go in the span of a summer. Taco Bell may be the greatest fast food restaurant in the universe, but they’ll never win our undying love until they bring back these obscure menu items.

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The Five Best Hangover Cures To Try In Your 30s

The Five Best Hangover Cures To Try In Your 30s

I hate to be the person to break the news to you, but you’re getting old. If you’re like me, you’re well into your 30s, and you can’t drink like the young dum-dum you once were. Whether you’re double fisting tall boys all night, or day drinking rosé with your crew, you’re going to be suffering the next day. The easiest way to make sure you don’t have a hangover is to stop drinking, but we both know that’s not going to happen. So until you suddenly become responsible, or die from a liver explosion, here are the best ways to get rid of the pounding in your head and the rumbling in your stomach.

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New Year’s Resolutions From The Staff Of Kill Pretty

New Year’s Resolutions From The Staff Of Kill Pretty

Around this time every year the freaks, weirdoes, and ne’er do wells of Kill Pretty find themselves in a pickle. With the new year right around the corner we have to make some kind of resolution, some kind of offer up to old man time that we’ll better ourselves. Here’s what the Kill Pretty staff is thinking about changing in the coming year.

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I Can't Wrap My Head Around New Chronology

In 2001 chess master Gary Kasparov claimed that he believed history isn’t actually history. It’s fiction. That year a loosely knit group of Russian conspiracy theorists began touting “New Chronology,” a theory that posits that everything that we think happened leading up to the Renaissance is a myth, created by a one world government to uh… well, to do something. No one is actually sure why there would be a global conspiracy to hide the possibility that England was once a part of the Russian Empire.

While I’m unsure of how this affects me directly, it nonetheless sends me into a downward spiral of second-guessing every choice I’ve ever made. Were my ancestors a part of a larger Russian empire? Is that why I ask for extra Russian dressing on my Reuben sandwiches? Or am I just one of those people who likes extra sauce? Does this explain my preference for pickles with fish? If I am from a secret lineage of Russian farmers then why can I not stand the cold? Have I been in Los Angeles for too long or is the concept of “New Chronology” an out and out lie?

Rather than finish the article after writing two paragraphs I decided to lie down and collect my thoughts. I ended up sleeping for 13 hours and in that time I’ve decided to create some new chronology of my own and forget about my possible ties to Russia, except for the Russian dressing. That’s one piece of history I think I’ll keep.

For Thanksgiving I’m Having Stuffed Gorilla

For Thanksgiving I’m Having Stuffed Gorilla

It’s not hard to buy a gorilla. With the internet things are so easy you just point and click and then a week later there’s a guy asking you to sign for your giant refrigerated box that has a giant dead gorilla inside. Things are easier now. Only 10 years ago I would have had to go to a zoo and kill my own gorilla, now they’re just available on Amazon.

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