August 28, 2020

Call Satan Live Episode 2 - Demon Acid

August 28, 2020/ Nacho

The second episode is up! The minion takes acid in a butt, a girl poops in a cup and there’s a car crash, I promise!

August 24, 2020

Kill Pretty Reviews: Day Drinking

August 24, 2020/ Jacob Shelton

Day drinking offers the perverse pleasure of being on a slightly different wavelength than everyone else, but without having to take PCP or slam your head into a wall. It’s usually hot outside whenever you’re day drinking (or at least when I’m day drinking), and who doesn’t love downing half a bottle of champagne in the middle of 95 degree heat?

August 19, 2020

Sick Life Number 2

August 19, 2020/ Nacho

Sick Life is a comic strip by @MattDelight

He also writes Ruby Comics, which you can read HERE

August 10, 2020

Kill Pretty Reviews: VHS

August 10, 2020/ Jacob Shelton

The home video market fucked up when they began producing DVDs. What do I want an animated menu for? Director or (even worse) cast commentary? Drop that shit in a bucket of radioactive waste. No one cares what happened at craft services on the day you filmed the climactic fight scene between Mickey Rourke and a tiger.

August 05, 2020

Good Burger: The Epitome of Nostalgia TRASH

August 05, 2020/ Nacho

*CRACK fzzzzzz SLURP* Can you taste the nostalgia? Remember how great Good Burger was? What a classic comedy movie! I love buddy comedies, don’t you? Good Burger is the absolute perfect example of nostalgia TRASH. If you think of it in your mind, you can remember great things, but don’t look too close! The reality is empty and pathetic. Not only is Good Burger terrible, it serves as the perfect metaphor for the separation between adult and kid comedy. It is the beginning of that horrible Disney comedy we see running rampant today. Worst of all it assumes all children are stupid and by the ratings, maybe they’re right?

August 03, 2020

Kill Pretty Reviews: Exercise

August 03, 2020/ Jacob Shelton

I'll be the one to say it (I actually have to be the one to say this because I’m writing it), I’m surprised by how much I enjoy working out. I don’t enjoy it so much that I’m rating in above a four, but that’s pretty good for an activity that makes you disgusting and tired.

July 24, 2020

Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James

July 24, 2020/ Murdock St. James

Sexual intellectual, Murdock St. James is back with his semi-monthly offering of sex tips, cunnilingus concepts, and anal advice. Instead of sitting down for an interview like he promised, the author of An Evening With You and Your Genitals and Murdock St. James was kind enough to send Kill Pretty a text message with 10 sex tips that he thought our readers would appreciate.

July 17, 2020

Killer Nun or How Religion Was Made For Sex Freaks! (EXPLICIT CONTENT!!)

July 17, 2020/ Nacho

I was 15 when I developed a fetish for nuns. No, I wasn’t biting my thumb getting spanked in catholic school (I wish!). I rented a vhs called Ms .45. It was a rape revenge story about a mute woman who is raped twice on her way home from work and decides to kill all sleazy men. In the last scene she goes to a Halloween party dressed as a nun and it’s one of the sexiest scenes in movie history. Ever since that moment I’ve had a thing for nuns.

July 15, 2020

Terrible Fucking Advice With Murdock St. James

July 15, 2020/ Murdock St. James

July 13, 2020

Kill Pretty Reviews: Loud Noises

July 13, 2020/ Jacob Shelton

Loud noises, be they crashes, smashes, pows, pops, or bangs, are at best debatable. I’m not going to deny that there are people out there who thrive on noises, the louder of which the better. I’m not one of those people. I don’t wake up in the morning aching to put my ear next to a raging buzz saw. I don’t like fire crackers just to feel my ears bleed. I am simply not a fan of noises louder than a reasonable decibel level.